Eyes Like A Car Crash
by BexThePanda
Summary: (Macewski fic) "Eyes like a car crash, I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away. Body like a whiplash, salt my wounds but I can't heal the way I feel about you." Mindy Macready's feelings towards Dave Lizewski in this alternative universe of kick-ass put into a fanfic :D Rated M for language & triggering themes c;
1. Deathbeds

**Chapter 01 - Deathbeds  
**

Eyes like a car crash  
I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away.  
Body like a whiplash,  
Salt my wounds but I can't heal the way  
I feel about you.

I watch you like a hawk  
I watch you like I'm gonna tear you limb from limb  
Will the hunger ever stop?  
Can we simply starve this sin?

That little kiss you stole  
It held my heart and soul  
And like a deer in the headlights I meet my fate  
Don't try to fight the storm  
You'll tumble overboard  
Tides will bring me back to you

And on my deathbed, all I'll see is you  
The life may leave my lungs  
But my heart will stay with you

The waves will pull us under  
Tides will bring me back to you

That little kiss you stole  
It held my heart and soul  
And like a ghost in the silence I disappear  
Don't try to fight the storm  
You'll tumble overboard  
Tides will bring me back to you

That little kiss you stole  
It held my heart and soul  
And like a deer in the headlights I meet my fate  
Don't try to fight the storm  
You'll tumble overboard  
Tides will bring me back to you


	2. Contagious

_A/N: omg I'm so sorry how weird and cryptic this is, I just wanted to try something a little more dark and romantic than "I Don't Love You" so here it is;3 This is really messy and full of mistakes but oh well. Oh and happy Christmas eve;D_❤

**Chapter 02 – Contagious **

I remember waking up out of my daze to find myself swimming around in those ocean blue eyes. I was floating peacefully, rather than my current drowning state. He took me into his arms carefully and we flew away on that shitty jetpack. The bitter wind in my face was harsh but it felt good, sometimes you just need to feel pain to know you're alive, to break the numbness. Once we had landed, I studied his state carefully. His battered, skin-tight, green costume was stained vibrant red in places. There was a smile placed on his swollen lips, but his eyes were sad and wounded. The odd combination of blood, cigarettes and lynx was an intoxicating but somehow comforting sent.

"My Daddy would have been proud of us both," I told him slowly.

The smile remained, but his eyes flashed a streak of warmth and happiness leaving me breathless. He began to remove his blood stained mask gently, exposing his entire face. I had seen his face before but never had chance to take it in behind the tears of my Daddy's traumatic fate. He had greasy brown curls and kind looking features, he just looked like a trustworthy sort of person. I realised the word I was looking for to describe him was innocent. He had too much innocence to be here in our fantasy world, innocence that had now been scarred with blood and bruises. The battle wounds didn't match him at all, but somehow part of me knew that he was just like me. We're not heroes, we are monsters that sometimes do great things.

"Dave Lizewski," he announced softly. I could now see past the bright quirk to his tone. Sometimes the happiest most innocent seeming people have created that illusion to escape from the dark reality inside their minds. But what scared me most is that I was exactly the same.

"I know that, dumbass," I laughed. Then I slowly removed my mask. My defences were now down, I'd let him into the reality behind my comic book world, my fantasy. "Mindy Macready," I smiled.

He gave me that sad smirk again, and I reached out to shake his cold palm. It was that easy.

I'm not in love with Dave Lizewski. At least I don't want to believe I am. Giving a name to your feelings is a bigger step than I could ever imagine. It's like no matter how much you want to die, you still can't come to terms with calling yourself suicidal. And no matter what I feel towards this boy, I never want to say that I'm in love with him. I'm fifteen years old, I have a whole life ahead of me, so many people to meet and I know that I'm not going to meet the love of my life yet. But my emotions towards Dave Lizewski are toxic and I'm the only one that feels them. And the worst part is for some strange reason I never want them to stop.

You see we live in a fantasy world, a comic book world. I'm a super hero, and I'm forming a super team with him. But in fantasy worlds, there's always the dark reality lingering behind the fiction. Because yes, I try to be a super hero, it's my dream to make the world a better place and help people. However I'm always the one flying around saving people, and I never save myself. The enemies and villains aren't always drug dealers or bank robbers but often inside of us. All monsters are human, and they're often the hero too.

Everyone needs somebody to sometimes make them feel like they're not always as awful as they think they are. And for me, that's my Robin. We're always saving each other, but we can never save ourselves. And I think the worst part is no matter how many times he says he does, I can never believe him when he tells me how much he cares. Maybe that's because he doesn't care at all really, or maybe because he will never care about me to the extent that I care about him. I've lost nights of sleep worrying that he would let his monsters win because no one was there to fly in and save him. I've found myself hours behind reality from daydreaming what things would be like if we were together. I know that could never happen though.

The truth is I'm scared to be with someone and let them in, but being with Dave seems safe because he's already a super hero, he already has monsters and villains like mine, he already has a secret identity, a mask that he puts on everyday. I knew from the second I realised I had feelings for him that he could only hurt me, but I've relied on him for too long now.

Fighting Frank D'Amico, my Daddy's enemy, was where it all started for real. I guess in my Daddy's fantasy world, Frank was his monster. This was all happening after my Daddy left, I was a little too late to save my Daddy from his villain but I had to finish of the job somehow. And when I took off that mask, my defences were down. They say that vulnerability reminds you that you're alive, then why do I feel deader now than I ever have before? Things are just a mess right now and I have too many thoughts and feelings. It all comes down to one fact: nobody understands me like Dave does, because no one else has a bigger opportunity to hurt me.


End file.
